Which would you choose — a successful romance, or a successful career? Jimmy Burgess says you don’t have to choose, because the principles are the same.
Some men seem to have it all — Great relationships and wildly successful careers. For me, finding the balance where one or the other doesn’t suffer has been a challenge. I’ve had times of abundant success in business, only to see my marriage suffer. I’ve also known times when my marriage was great, but my business was suffering.
I wrote a book about my personal story of bouncing back, and a large part of my research focused on how to find a successful balance. I studied men who found the necessary balance to succeed in both relationships and business at the same time.
What I found were 4 common traits these men carry: These traits are relevant in business and relationships. These are the secrets I uncovered.
#1 They realize it’s not about them
| When my businesses suffered in the past, it was almost always because I focused on what was in it for me instead of what was in it for them. |
The most successful men in love and business realize that it isn’t about them. The relationships and businesses of these men are focused on the needs of others. They identify wants and needs, then they fill them. They focus on what the other person’s pain is and then they do their best to alleviate that pain.
Successful men are humble. They don’t have to pound their chests to draw attention to themselves. They are focused on making the people they are involved with feel that they are the most important people in the world. They derive joy from others being happy and satisfied.
When my relationships suffered in the past, it was usually because I was focused on what I wanted. I didn’t listen to what she wanted, so my relationship suffered. Ultimately, that meant I suffered.
When my businesses suffered in the past, it was almost always because I focused on what was in it for me instead of what was in it for them. When I focus on the needs of my customers, it always results in more of my needs being met.
#2 They communicate effectively
| Success in business and relationships is a long-term proposition. |
Successful men realize why they were born with two ears and one mouth. They listen effectively and communicate in a way that builds relationships and trust.
Successful men in relationships understand that effective communication is critical to long-term success. According to a study of mental health professionals conducted by YourTango.com, the #1 reason for divorce is poor communication.
My marriage is at its best when I am communicating best with my wife. Whether times are tough or easy, communication is the thermostat that controls the temperature of my marriage.
In business, success depends on how efficiently the benefits of a product or service can be communicated. The successful man learns to say more while speaking less. He learns to counsel rather than sell. This can only be done by communicating effectively.
During a one-year period, my annual income dramatically changed and it became my average monthly income. The main difference was that I listened to what others wanted or needed, and then I found it for them. The results were astounding!
#3 They do the unexpected
All successful men do the unexpected and over-deliver. Doing the unexpected is what sets extraordinary apart from ordinary. Providing the unexpected builds equity in relationships.
Success in business and relationships is a long-term proposition. Successful men understand cycles. There will be tough times in relationships and business. Doing the unexpected during good times builds equity and gives successful men the ability to weather the storms of life in relationships and business.
Send handwritten thank you notes or love letters. Surprise her with dinner out, or have lunch delivered to your customer’s place of business. Show them how much you appreciate them by giving them a gift certificate to someplace they love. Plant the seeds of the unexpected today and watch the harvest that will come.
#4 They practice “The Platinum Rule”
| In business, I began to ask people what they needed and wanted. For much of my career, I was offering them what I had. Once I identified what they wanted, I was able to see my income skyrocket in a very short period of time. |
Dr. Tony Alesandra and Michael O’Connor wrote a phenomenal book entitled The Platinum Rule in which they argued that the golden rule (do unto others as you would have them do unto you) is not the best policy. They believe the platinum rule is much more effective: “Do unto others as they’d like done unto them.” Successful men in relationships and business realize not everyone is like them. They adjust their focus to treating others the way they desire to be treated.
This concept changed everything for me. In business, I began to ask people what they needed and wanted. For much of my career, I was offering them what I had. Once I identified what they wanted, I was able to see my income skyrocket in a very short period of time.
For much of my marriage, I focused on showing my wife respect and giving her plenty of free time to spend with her friends. When I finally asked her what she wanted, it had nothing to do with respect and free time. I was practicing the golden rule, but her wants and needs were not being met. She desired communication and a sense of security.
I’m not saying I have it all figured out, but when I focus on giving her what she needs and wants, our marriage relationship grows. When you focus on giving others what they want, in the way they want it, all areas of your life will improve.
Good news!
The good news is that each of us can improve in the areas mentioned above. You can focus on others more than yourself. You can learn to communicate better by simply Googling “How to communicate better.” You can solidify personal and business relationships today just by using Google. You can practice “The Platinum Rule” in a matter of minutes.
Success is only a few decisions away. Take action! Do these things and you will find the balance and success that we all desire.
Never doubt that we’re all in this together. With that in mind, let’s help each other.
What has helped you find success in relationships or business? Please share what has succeeded or failed in the comments section below.
Originally Published: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/4-secrets-to-successfully-balancing-love-and-money-dg/
Picture credit: http://pregnantlove.tumblr.com/post/107805095594/boom-pregnant-man-in-suit-bun-in-oven
