Simple acts of physical affection — like sex, hugs, cuddling, hand-holding, and even a quick kiss before heading to work — can significantly contribute to a long and loving relationship. Science now provides evidence that these acts aren’t just romantic gestures; they play a crucial role in maintaining relationship happiness and health.
The secret lies in oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone.” This powerful chemical is released during physical contact and helps deepen the bond between two people. In this blog, we’ll explore how oxytocin acts as the driving force behind these benefits, showing how physical affection is key to relationship longevity and emotional well-being.
Understanding Oxytocin: The “Love Hormone”
Oxytocin is a hormone produced in the brain that functions as part of the body’s reward system, reinforcing emotional connections between romantic partners. When we engage in physical contact — whether it’s a hug, kiss, or cuddling — oxytocin levels in our bodies rise, enhancing feelings of trust, bonding, and affection.
This hormone is known for its ability to promote loyalty and attraction. Studies show that oxytocin helps prevent infidelity by making one’s partner appear more attractive and desirable, which can help strengthen the exclusivity of a relationship. However, oxytocin also has a downside: its effects can make an abrupt breakup feel physiologically devastating, as the sudden drop in oxytocin levels can feel like withdrawal from an addiction.
The Biological Advantage of Monogamy
Research led by Rene Hurlemann, a psychiatrist at the University of Bonn in Germany, suggests that there must be a biological advantage to monogamy despite its apparent costs. While evolutionary theory might suggest that spreading genes widely would be advantageous, oxytocin’s role in enhancing loyalty and attraction explains why many humans choose committed, long-term relationships.
Regular releases of oxytocin make our partners more attractive to us over time, reinforcing the desire to stay bonded and faithful. This chemical reinforcement helps explain why many people remain committed to one partner, highlighting that there is a significant biological component to the choice of monogamy. It shows that oxytocin serves as a natural “glue,” keeping partners focused on each other and fostering long-lasting love and commitment.
Oxytocin’s Impact on Attraction
In a groundbreaking study, Rene Hurlemann and his colleagues at the University of Bonn examined how oxytocin affects romantic attraction. They recruited 20 men who were in long-term, passionate relationships with their partners. The men were given either a dose of oxytocin or a placebo and were then shown pictures of their partners interspersed with images of unfamiliar but equally attractive strangers.
The results were telling: men who received oxytocin were significantly more fixated on their current romantic partners compared to those who received the placebo. This confirmed oxytocin’s powerful role in deepening romantic attraction and loyalty. The hormone effectively made the men “see” their partners as more attractive, reinforcing their commitment and desire to stay bonded.
These findings suggest that a “steady diet” of oxytocin can help trigger dopamine release, which creates a sensation of being almost “addicted” to one’s partner. This natural “love drug” helps to maintain a deep emotional bond over time, explaining why some couples remain devoted to each other for the long haul.
Why Physical Affection is Essential for Long-Term Love
Physical affection, such as hand-holding, hugging, and cuddling, is intrinsically linked to emotional health and relationship satisfaction. These simple acts of touch release oxytocin, which deepens the emotional connection and reinforces feelings of love and trust.
Take, for example, John and Ann Betar, who have been married for over 81 years. They attribute their enduring love to always holding hands, demonstrating how these small, consistent acts of affection can sustain a relationship through time. The science behind oxytocin provides a clear explanation of why physical affection helps couples stay madly in love; it reinforces the emotional and physical bonds that keep partners close.
Practical Tips for Strengthening Your Bond with Oxytocin
Boosting oxytocin levels through physical touch is a simple yet effective way to strengthen your bond with your partner. Here are a few tips:
- Incorporate More Physical Touch: Make an effort to hug, hold hands, or cuddling regularly to maintain a close connection.
- Plan Regular Date Nights: Engage in intimate conversations and physical closeness to reinforce your emotional bond.
- Find Small Moments for Affection: Whether it’s a quick kiss in the morning or a loving touch throughout the day, these small gestures go a long way in keeping the connection alive.
By making these activities a regular part of your relationship, you can cultivate a deeper, more lasting bond with your partner.
Invest in the Power of Physical Affection
Physical affection, such as hand-holding, hugging, and cuddling is more than just a romantic gesture; it’s a powerful tool that enhances your emotional connection and promotes long-term love. Prioritize these moments in your relationship to experience the benefits of increased oxytocin and a deeper, more meaningful bond.
Ready to build a stronger, more loving relationship through the power of touch? Let Valenti Matchmaking help you find a partner who values connection and affection. Contact Valenti Matchmaking today and start your journey toward a love that lasts.
