In any relationship, there will be some conflict. While it is never a pleasant experience, it can be a positive opportunity in a healthy relationship. Two people in a healthy relationship will have strong feelings for each other, but one can forget that these strong feelings can also feel negative. Everyone’s most memorable arguments are always with loved ones. When you care about someone, the emotional charge in a disagreement can be highly charged.
However, how one resolves a dispute is critical as it can actually strengthen the bonds in a loving partnership. The team at Valenti came across this article that discusses some of the ways conflict can be a helpful part of a relationship. The first step is to recognize that conflict is a sign pointing out a need for change. When this is recognized, the issue can become an opportunity to learn and grow. Adopting this perspective helps to make things more cooperative and less adversarial. Conflict also is a reminder that the two individuals in a relationship are interdependent. This does not mean they lose their independence, but it means that what they do affects the other. Keeping this in mind can help people look beyond themselves and think about their loved ones’ perspective. The most important thing to remember in a conflict is that the argument may be just a symbol for an underlying issue. Getting into a fight about not taking out the trash could be fueled by feelings of being controlled or being under appreciated. The best approach about an argument is to recognize that there needs to be a resolution, but taking a breath and some time to cool off needs to happen first. In the heat of an argument, clear and thoughtful communication is very difficult. Once both parties cool off, they can look at things more constructively and cooperatively.
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